


What Do You Know of Sacrifices?

by Doteruna



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Arguing, Comforting Merlin, Couch Cuddles, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Forced Prostitution, I kinda made Harry a bit of an ass in this, M/M, Men Crying, Misunderstandings, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Rentboy Eggsy, Sorry Not Sorry, Talking, Underage Prostitution, Yelling, honeypot mission, not detailed though, shouting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 06:12:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10803396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doteruna/pseuds/Doteruna
Summary: “Sacrifices?” Eggsy scowls. “How is you screwing some bird a sacrifice?”“What do you know about sacrifices?” Harry yells, exasperated and frustrated. He immediately regrets it as Eggsy recoils and his eyes widen. The boy takes a step back, away from Harry, and the older man feels his stomach twist.“What do I know about sacrifice?” Eggsy repeats, softly. “Jesus, Harry.”





	What Do You Know of Sacrifices?

“On your knees, that’s it.”

“Roll him over. Don’t let him talk.”

“How much for the whole night with him?”

The words flew to the front Eggsy’s mind as he walked down the streets of some backwater town in Lithuania, heading to the airport that would take him home. He had finished a surveillance mission that lasted two weeks and he was ready to wrap his arms around Harry and bury his head in Merlin’s jumper. Yet as he walked down the narrow roads, he passed scores of girls and some boys wearing practically nothing in the frigid nighttime air, leering at him with overdone makeup and too much glitter. 

Eggsy remembers standing on street corners, leaning against brick walls and waiting for cars to slow down. He remembers smiling coyly at old men who rolled their windows down and leading girls into hotel rooms for their first time. He also remembers the feeling of blood dripping down his thighs and his wrists as metal cut into his arms and the sound of his screams muffled behind a sweaty hand with thick fingers. He remembers it all, and as he walks by the prostitutes he tries to push the memories back into the little dark box in the back of his brain. That part of his life was over--he had two boyfriends who cared very deeply for him, his mother and sister had a house so he didn’t have to go to his knees to support them anymore, and he had a job that he absolutely loved. 

And he wanted to get back to that job, so he boarded the jet waiting for him on the private airstrip and settled in for the flight back to the Kingsman manor.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Hey, luv,” Eggsy greeted Merlin as he swept into the wizard’s office, mug of tea in hand. “What’d I miss?”

“Nothing of importance, boyo,” Merlin responded, tugging Eggsy down for a brief kiss before spending decidedly longer with the mug. “Sent Kay on a mission to Brazil, and Harry just got back from his in Scotland. He should be in his office.”

Eggsy frowned. Harry hated his office at the manor and preferred to spend his time in Merlin’s technology dungeon (as Eggsy liked to call it) or with Eggsy around the grounds. To spend time in his office without doing paperwork was unusual, and Harry usually put off doing his post-mission report until the last hours of the two-day deadline. 

“Did something happen?” the young man asks as Merlin switches on a mic to direct Kay into a different part of the compound he’s sneaking around in. 

“No, no, he’s always just uncomfortable after a honeypot and he keeps some good scotch in his desk. He’s likely enjoying a bit right now, waiting for you.”

“A honeypot?” Eggsy repeats, feeling numb. “You sent him on a honeypot?”

Merlin hesitates for just a second before turning away from the monitors in front of him and facing Eggsy fully, setting his tea down.

“Harry assured me that he told you about the honeypot,” Merlin says slowly. Eggsy dragged a hand through his hair.

“No, he didn’t,” he answered hoarsely. “I...I’m gonna go talk to him.” 

“Eggsy, I--” Merlin began, but was cut off as the sound of a distant explosion echoed through Kay’s glasses. “Shit.”

“It’s all right, help Kay out. I’m gonna find Harry,” Eggsy mumbles, waving vaguely towards the monitors and walking backwards towards the door. Merlin looked torn but at Kay’s insistent, “Merlin!” he was forced to help the other agent out. Eggsy left the room and made a beeline to Harry’s office.

Without knocking, he opened the door and stepped inside. Harry glanced up and frowned at the obvious break of decorum, setting his glass of amber-colored alcohol down on his desk.

“Eggsy,” he greeted, but his tone was sharp. He opened his mouth to say more but Eggsy smacked both palms on the hardwood and cut him off.

“You lied to me,” he accused. Harry’s mouth snapped shut. “You didn’t tell me that you were going on a honeypot.”

“Eggsy, really, I--”

“Harry, we had an agreement! We were to be exclusive! You, me, and Merlin! And you lied to Merlin too!”

“Please, let me explain--”

Again, Eggsy interrupted him. 

“We even filed the paperwork excluding us from that sort of mission. We have plenty of other agents that could do them, there’s no reason for you to take the honeypot! Unless…” He trails off, and Harry sees the moment that Eggsy comes to the worst conclusion. He knows that his younger lover used to be constantly nervous and afraid that he was too young, intruding on the relationship that Harry and Merlin had had for years. Of course, it wasn’t true; Harry and Merlin loved Eggsy as much as they loved each other. But it was still hard for Eggsy to accept it sometimes, and the boy still needed occasional reassurances that he was wanted and loved. 

“Eggsy, please, let me explain myself,” Harry says quietly. Eggsy shuts his mouth but doesn’t relax, his shoulders tense and fists clenched. “The woman that needed wooing was someone I’ve dealt with in the past, and the Scottish division thought that a familiar face would have a higher chance of success. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to upset you, and I lied to Merlin so that he wouldn’t bring it up. Clearly I was mistaken.”

“Damn right, you’re mistaken,” Eggsy grits out. “We had an agreement, Harry. Just us three. If I’m not good enough for you, just say so, ‘cuz I’ll leave. I won’t like it and I’ll hate myself, but I don’t want to hurt what you and Merlin have. But you lied to both of us and--”

“No, Eggsy, of course we want you,” Harry interrupts this time. “You know that we love you so very much. It’s just that sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the good of the organization.”

“Sacrifices?” Eggsy scowls. “How is you screwing some bird a sacrifice?”

“What do you know about sacrifices?” Harry yells, exasperated and frustrated. He immediately regrets it as Eggsy recoils and his eyes widen. The boy takes a step back, away from Harry, and the older man feels his stomach twist. 

“What do I know about sacrifice?” Eggsy repeats, softly. “Jesus, Harry.” 

“Eggsy, I didn’t--”

“No. No, fuck you, Harry. Seriously, fuck you.” Eggsy’s eyes are filling with tears and the young man whips around, yanking the door open and slamming it so hard behind him that the painting on the wall shudders. Harry watches him go with a sense of helplessness, knowing that what he said was rude and cruel, but not understanding Eggsy’s reaction. Yes, he knows his boy nearly lost everything on V-day and has gone through a lot in his short life. But surely that didn’t warrant the cold tone Eggsy had used?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Merlin.”

“Yes, Harry?”

“Is this line secure?”

“....You know it is, Harry.”

“Merlin, I fucked up.”

“As usual. What did you do this time?”

“I lied about the honeypot to Eggsy, and then we fought about it and I said something terrible, but I don’t know what about it was wrong.”

“That’s not very helpful, Harry.”

“I implied that he hasn’t made sacrifices before. Not on the same level as me taking the mission, at least.”

Merlin didn’t answer after that, and Harry took his glasses off to check that they were still broadcasting. After a solid minute, his boyfriend spoke again.

“Harry, how much do you know about the time Eggsy spent before he joined the Royal Marines?”

“Before? Not much, I suppose,” Harry mused. “I’m always preoccupied with what came after. Namely, us.”

“But you’ve seen some of the scars he has?”

Harry frowned, not liking where this audio-only conversation was going. He picked up his glass of scotch again and took a sip, wishing he was in Merlin’s office with him but not willing to face him face-to-face. 

“I assumed he got them from his time in the military.”

“Not all of them, Harry. Not most of them.”

“For Christ’s sake, Merlin, spit it out.”

“Eggsy used to be a prostitute, Harry.”

Silence. 

“His stepfather turned him out starting when he was 16. It was the only way he could keep his mother, and later on his sister, safe. Taking the abuse was the only way for him to protect them.”

Still not a word.

“Many of his scars are from the cruel men and women he let use him so that he could afford to feed and clothe his family, and to keep his stepfather’s attention on him instead of them.”

Glass shatters as Harry’s fingers grip the tumbler hard enough to break it, the liquid spilling all over the desk. 

“He’s made more sacrifices than we have, Harry.”

It’s then that Harry hears the sob in the background, and his heart sinks. 

“Is...is Eggsy with you right now?”

“Aye, sitting on my lap.”

“Fuck, Eggsy, my boy, I’m so sorry. I’m so truly sorry I said such horrid things to y--”

“Just come here, you twit. He needs both of us right now,” Merlin snaps before ending the broadcast. 

Harry nearly knocks Percival over barrelling down the hallway.

He slows to a jog just before he reaches the doors to Merlin’s tech room, running a hand through his normally perfectly-coiffed hair and pushing the doors open. Inside, the room is empty of the techies and nerds that usually bustle around the office like bees. Instead, Merlin is sitting on the old couch against the back wall, Eggsy curled up on his lap so his cheek rests on Merlin’s thigh and the Scot can scratch at Eggsy’s scalp. They’re both watching him, and Harry feels even worse when he sees that Eggsy’s eyes are red-rimmed and there’s tear stains trailing down his cheeks.

“My dear boy,” he begins. “Christ, I manage to fuck up all the good things in my life. I should never have said that to you, Eggsy. You’ve done so much not just for your family, but for this country and the whole world.” He’s going to continue pouring compliments and platitudes but Eggsy sits up and holds out a hand.

“Let me say something, yeah?” he says. “I don’t regret what I’ve done. I’m sad about it, yeah, and ashamed? Definitely. Dean and his goons turned me out for the hell of it and let some real nasty people touch me. But after? When I had no other way to support my mum and Daisy? I don’t regret my choices for a second. I did what I had to in order to keep them safe, and I wouldn’t trade their safety for anything in the whole world.”

There are more tears in his bright green eyes, but Eggsy looks so defiant, so strong, that Harry can’t help but fall in love all over again. Merlin shushes the boy and tugs him back so the Scot can wrap his arms around his torso in a tight hug. 

“Eggsy, I don’t care that you were a prostitute,” Harry assures him. “I was aware that you had done some unsavory things while under Dean’s care, but I never bothered to dig into the details. For that, you have my deepest apologies. You’ve done so much to keep your family safe and you’ve absolutely made more sacrifices than I could have ever imagined. What I said was cruel, terrible, and above all, false. I’m so sorry.”

Eggsy glares at him for a moment before sighing and cuddling closer to Merlin, but holding out an arm for his other boyfriend.

“I know you wouldn’t have said it if you knew the truth,” Eggsy mumbles as Harry tucks himself into the cushions of the couch, hiking Eggsy’s legs up and running his fingers over his muscles. “I just always thought that you knew. Merlin did.” His tone is slightly accusatory, but Harry just raises his eyebrow at the other man.

“I, unlike you, am capable of putting two and two together,” Merlin scoffs. “I knew that Eggsy had had some...unpleasant sexual encounters and I asked him about it several months ago.” 

“Christ, why are you two still with me?” Harry wonders aloud. “I’m a horrible boyfriend.”

“Yeah, but you cook really well, so…” Eggsy trails off with a grin, and Harry leans forward to steal a kiss. He plants one on Merlin’s lips next before settling back and focusing on massaging Eggsy’s calves, relieved that he still had both his boyfriends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Merlin?”

“Hush, Harry, you’ll wake the lad.”

“...Did you ever get any names of the people who hurt Eggsy?”

“They’re dead, Harry. I made sure of it.”

“Good.”


End file.
